Merge into Love

 "Everybody has there own part in the drama, and no part is better then any other part, they are just parts in the drama. Now the issue of love, Its important the distinction be made between the verb love which takes a object. And the being, the state of being which is love. Your afraid that if you don't try to be loving you'll be awful. But the fact is behind loving and awfulness we are. And where we are is love."
-Ram Dass-

 

This is what happens in personal relationships on the way of love. At first there is just an opaque curtain between us and the one we love.The Lord is there, but we cannot see him – in fact, at the beginning we scarcely know what to look for. Gradually, however, our concentration deepens. Now we sense that there really is someone behind the curtain, and every once in a while we glimpse a silhouette. As vision becomes clearer, we seem to see the beautiful eyes of Sri Krishna or Jesus or the Divine Mother behind our partner’s eyes – and the more we see, the deeper is our desire to see more. In the end, all our other desires merge in the immense longing to have no barrier between us and our real Beloved. Only one veil remains, and it is so thin that every morning we go to meditation knowing that this may be the day that we are united with the Lord at last. We may wait like this for years, but finally, without warning, the veil falls at last. Then, in the rapturous language of St. John of the Cross, we merge in the Beloved and are transformed: “Amado con amada, amada en el amado transformada." Most of us think of love as a one-to-one relationship, which is all it can be on the physical level. But there is no limit to our capacity to love. We can never be satisfied by loving just one person here, another there. Our need is to love completely, universally, without any reservations – in other words, to become love itself.

-Eknath Easwaren-

Be Yourself

The text reads: "Walk before me and be perfect." However, the Hebrew reads "hitalekh lifanai ve'heyeh tamim." The Hebrew "tam" is not generally used to imply "perfect" but "innocent, simple, pure, whole-hearted, complete." A more accurate interpretation would be "Walk before me and be whole." And that cannot be a command, but an expression of what will happen: "if you (Abraham, or any one of us) would walk in God's ways, we would be complete."

A Hassidic story tells us that before his death Rabbi Zusya said, "In the world to come, they will not ask me: 'Why were you not Moses' they will ask me: 'Why were you not Zusya?'" How many of us try to become people other than ourselves, set for ourselves goals based on images of masculinity or beauty that are external and modeled by others?

People are often perplexed by the accounts of the biblical heroes, all of whom are imperfect. In order to save his life, Abraham hides the fact that Sarah is his wife. He easily accepts Sarah's demand that he expel Hagar and Ishamel (whose birth was caused by Sarah's own encouragement)! Isaac easily goes along with his father's intention to sacrifice him and plays along with his own son Jacob's ruse of getting the paternal blessing. On and on. The answer, of course, is that the biblical characters are depicted as fully human (like you and I) not angels, or "gods."

No one expects us to be perfect. Sometimes we are confused by the English translations of Biblical texts. For example, in Genesis (17:1) it appears as though God commands Abraham to be perfect. The text reads: "Walk before me and be perfect." However, the Hebrew reads "hitalekh lifanai ve'heyeh tamim." The Hebrew "tam" is not generally used to imply "perfect" but "innocent, simple, pure, whole-hearted, complete." A more accurate interpretation would be "Walk before me and be whole." And that cannot be a command, but an expression of what will happen: "if you (Abraham, or any one of us) would walk in God's ways, we would be complete."

One of the kids' favorite books that I'd read to them in Hebrew was by Shel Silverstein, "The Missing Piece Meets the Big O." In it a little wedge-shaped piece imagines that it is the missing piece of some other "thing." That it needs to fit into another being in order to be whole and move in the world. Some fit, but can't move, others have too many chunks missing from them.... Eventually the "Missing Piece" learns that it can reshape itself -- round its corners -- and is actually whole and able to move in the world.

We often feel that we are broken and unable to move. The brokenness is understandable and real, but, what we do with our broken selves depends on us. Ernest Hemingway said, "Life breaks all of us, yet many of us are strong in the broken place." Novelists, like Hemingway, tell stories with beginnings, middles and ends... a clear trajectory that the writer constructs to make sure the story has meaning. But our lives are lived in the flow of history with many overlapping beginnings, middles and endings and no single trajectory. We have to find and make the meaning for our own lives.

The story is told of a king who had a wonderful jewel. He would gaze on it often, wondering at its beauty. One day, something startled him and he dropped the jewel causing it to fall. As he picked it up from the hard stone floor the king noticed that the jewel now had a deep crack in it. He sent messengers out to find a craftsman who could repair it, but, no one came forward. Finally after a very long search he found an old jeweler who said he could repair the jewel, but, that the king would have to promise to give him free reign in his work. With no other options, the king assented. The old craftsman set up his workshop and worked continuously for many days (taking time off for Shabbat). Finally he emerged and showed the king the jewel. There in the jewel, the old man had worked the lines of the crack into the pattern of an exquisite flower that appeared deep inside the precious stone. The king gasped and realized that the crack itself had led to the jewel becoming even more precious.

Yet another story of a crack.

This one was of a simple man who walked every day from his home to the stream with a pole across his broad shoulders and two buckets hanging one from each side. He walked down to the stream, filled the two buckets and walked back up to his house and there emptied the buckets into a large basin from which the family drew water through the day. However, one of the buckets had a crack in it and every day the man had only one and a half buckets of water to pour into the basin. Day after day, this went on. Eventually - late at night after everyone had fallen asleep - the cracked bucket spoke to the man: "I am embarrassed that every day I only bring half the amount of water needed for the basin. Please get rid of me and get a new, whole, unbroken bucket." The next morning the man took his buckets down to the stream. As he did, he spoke to the cracked bucket. "Why do you feel so bad about yourself? Do you see this path we walk every day? One side of it has flowers growing along it, the other side is barren. I knew about your crack -- what you have considered a flaw. Because of your crack, I planted flowers along that side of the path from which you hang. Every day, as I walked back from the stream you have watered these flowers... flowers that we have cut to beautify our simple home. If you did not have a crack, or, if I was to get rid of you and get another bucket without a crack I would need to make special arrangements to water our flowers. I appreciate you because of your crack."

All of the above I did not write, this was copied from this website; http://www.davka.org/what/text/sermonics/srmnyk64perfect.html

This however is a word from me, Be yourself!

"A Hassidic story tells us that before his death Rabbi Zusya said, "In the world to come, they will not ask me: 'Why were you not Moses' they will ask me: 'Why were you not Zusya?'" How many of us try to become people other than ourselves, set for ourselves goals based on images of masculinity or beauty that are external and modeled by others?"

I cannot begin to say of how often I have found myself trying to do this same thing! Trying to be others, Great tzaddiks and the like? But Hashem speaks! He says, I already have Moses, I don't need Moses, I need you!

"We each have a role to play. And no role is more important then any other role, there just roles in the drama... Now the issue of love, Its important the distinction be made between the verb love which takes a object. And the being, the state of being which is love. Your afraid that if you don't try to be loving you'll be awful. But the fact is behind loving and awfulness we are. And where we are is love."

Life is a journey, and each moment is are destination! We are here now in each moment on this journey, and where we are is exatctly where we should be. G-d wants us to be ourselves. Not someone else. This message seems very universal. I think we all need to stop and ask ourselves, Am I being real with myself? Am I being me? Or someone else?

What is it I believe? Who am I? How can I best serve G-d being who I am, from where I am at? Thomas paine wrote this;

"But it is necessary to the happiness of man, that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind, as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe, he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. He takes up the trade of a priest for the sake of gain, and, in order to qualify himself for that trade, he begins with a perjury. Can we conceive anything more destructive to morality than this?"

So whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you believe.., Serve G-d, Be yourself, whoever that self truly is.

Ryan



True Religion

Saba True Religion!

(You said that your mother would give you for school a drop of oil on bread?) Yes. Yes. With a few drops. So I asked for a few more drops. So she told me, “What?” she screamed at me, “I need the oil for Sabbath. Do not speak at all, that's enough!” Afterwards I went and gave the bread with the drops of oil; I gave it to a poor man. There was in Tiberius a couple, an elder man and elder lady, and he would go begging. So I wanted to do charity and kindness, I took the bread, I didn't have money, I took the bread which my mother gave me and I went to the old man, this Jew, and I gave it to him. His name was Yosef Noach, that was his name, for I remember till this day his name, Yosef Noach, two names. This was after Succos and after the (weekly Torah portion of) Biraishes came the weekly portion Noach, and on Sunday I went and joyously gave him the bread with the drops of olive oil, I thought that I did great charity, he and his wife would eat, yes.

I went to school, and I didn't have what to eat, because I had given away the bread' yes. So I got a bad headache, I needed to eat but I didn't have. So my teacher, his practice was that on Sunday he would tell the students “This weeks Torah Portion is Noach”. Yes, he would repeat this many times in order that they should know that this week is the Torah Portion Noach. He looked at all the students, and he detected that I was not listening at all, as if I wasn't in school, I don't hear at all, and do not know what-so-ever. So he left me, and then he called upon me, “Yisroel Ber! Tell which Torah portion is this week.” And I didn't know and didn't hear, just my head hurt me, that's all I knew, and I didn't hear at all what he said! Nu Nu … he hit me with cruelty, “What's this?! I said many times that this week’s Torah portion is Noach, where were you?! You do not listen?! What is this?! Where were you?! I give out my throat for nothing?!” He hit me, and I was embarrassed in front of all the students. He wanted them all to see and be afraid. The shame is impossible to describe, he hit me so much with cruelty. (How old were you?) little. (5, 6?) yes, approximately. Beginning to learn the Chumash (five books of Moses), the portion Noach. I said from now on I will no longer give away the bread, if I give away the bread I will receive a beating, I will not give and I will not receive blows, and I will know that the weekly Torah portion is the portion Noach. Even still, I gave the bread another time to this pauper/ This was by me all of Judaism. All that I heard about spirituality, about faith, about the Torah, was with me - I received new knowledge which hadn't appeared before, I didn't know from H”Y, from the Torah. I hear that there is the Torah and H”Y, so there was with me great happiness... I was the worst of all the children, the worst. I was born into poverty and I was also a weak child. Yes, I have miracles that I am alive, that I was able to live.... He wanted to know which children were good and which children were not good, so he suddenly left me, passed over, he asked this child, “Say which Torah portion it is this week.” But when he knew which portion, “Portion of Noach” ho ho, then he was already a good child, but there were children that didn't remember, it needed time that they could remind themselves, “portion of Noach”; suddenly he came upon me, “what is the weekly Torah portion?” I didn't know anything' as if I wasn't in this world, yes, in a different court, nu, he is expectant, he is waiting, he is expectant, maybe I will remember... I? “what is this” doesn't know anything, Noach, Noach? So he – he waited and waited for an answer and there is no answer, does not know. So he asks me, “Where were you? You were not here at all, where? In what world were you? What is this? You don't know? I speak and I give all my strength and you do not listen?” So he was very angry with me, and he hit me cruel blows. He hit me, “What is this? I speak just like that for nothing? And you do not listen? I speak and you do not know even the portion? Yes, do not know one word. “Where were you?!” Even still I saw that I need the bread, for I receive a beating, and such a beating! I suffered from the beating, and also I was embarrassed, I was humiliated before the children.... He didn't hit even one other, just Yisroel Ber! (And the demeaning started from then!), the disgrace was more, more painful than the beating. I tell all of this, so that we know how much H”Y loves simple wholesomeness. I wasn't an intellectual just the wholesomeness of the heart, I very much loved the Torah and the commandments and the faith and fear of Heaven, and when I saw someone learning, or he was simple/wholesome and was reciting Psalms, then I thought, ah – this man he is thinking of the true purpose, fortunate is this man, he is busy with Psalms and he studies!

Immersion into Holiness

And so it is, the Holy of Holies. Where I live we do not have a mikvah. I read about Mikvah, many times. One day talking to a friend I decided, I was ready.. I wanted to go to the Mikvah. A Mikvah can be a river or other natural bodies of water.

The waters of a mikvah must gather together naturally. One may not just use tap water. They must come either from an underground spring or from rainwater; which may then be joined with tap water. If spring water is used, then the water can be flowing. However if the source is rainwater, then the water must be stationary. The ocean, halachically, is considered a spring. Thus, even though the water is flowing, it can still be considered a kosher mikvah. Rivers and lakes are more complicated, because the source could be either rain or spring water. If the river dries up during a drought, then its source is rainwater. Since a mikvah which comes from rainwater must not be flowing, therefore such a river would not be kosher. A river which does not dry up could probably be used as a mikvah.
-Mikvah.org-

So as I was saying, where we live we do not have a Mikvah. I had read about it and decided this somthing I wanted to do. I had planned the night before to go to the mikvah come morning. So when I awoke... I got ready... Washed in the shower, brushed & flossed my teeth, cut my fingernails and cleaned them.. Got dressed. But I didn't just get dressed. For me, I was going to meet my G-d. I dressed nicer then normal, and prepared for my trip to the river (mikvah). I walked aways and had a hard time finding a private spot. For those of you who don't know, you are not suppose to wear anything in the water. No clothes, rings etc... I heard from my friend that he takes his clothes off while in the water, giving him more privacy and allowing him to be more modest. This was a plan, I decided to follow. Through walking through the river looking for a spot, I had my towl around my neck and my flip flops on, of course I was fully dressed at this point.. but through this walking through the river, I fell, soaked my towel, fell a few more times causing me to scrape my knees and foot bloody, then losing my shoes! So I am standing there soaking wet, watching my sandels float down the river! Ahhh! Talk about tough huh? But hey, it was all for Hashem!
Finally I found a spot. Got into the water, removed all my stuff and went in. Now underwater, I stayed under as long as I could! I just screamed HASHEM!!!!!!! HASHEM!!! With everything I had in me (of course I screamed meaning in my head.) I came up, and I did it! I finally did it! I got out of the water my whole body was burning it was so cold! This was one if not thee holiest expierence I have ever had in my life! G-d was there, And I left feeling totally sanctified!
I decided to do this everyday! That is everyday I can. I found a much better spot now, and I have gone a few times since then. Not everytime was a huge expierence, but when I go out to the mikvah, it feels so holy. On my way walking to my spot, I do hitbodedut the whole way, just me and Hashem! It is beautiful! And no one and nothing in this world can take away, the relationship, that I have recieved from doing this. I thought I read somewhere that the Baal Shem Tov said one should not go longer then 3 days without going to the mikvah, I could be wrong it may have been someone else. But I would say for me! I must go everyday, and definitly no longer the 3 days!

I encourage everyone to make this a routine in your daily life! Jew or Non-Jew, it doesn't matter! Remember we are being born into a new life, a new nation, this takes time, we cannot become holy overnight! One foot in front of the other. Do your best, that is all Hashem asks!

May we all merit to be Jews!

Until next time my friends,
Yaakov

NA NACH NACHMA NACHMAN MEUMAN!